The Journal of Remus Lupin
by NebThauDragmire
Summary: I've seen Snape's Diary, but what about our dear DADA professor? Follow the wacky adventures of Remus Lupin as he confonts Pirates, chocolate, and Lord of the Rings. Rated T to be safe.


Authoress: This first chapter is set just before and during Harry's first year. Now, Erik, do the disclaimer. Erik: Make Ganon do it. Authoress: Ganondorf, do the disclaimer. Ganondorf: Make Kaiba do it. Authoress: Oh, for the love of Pete! Seto, do the disclaimer. Seto: Make Cooper do it. Authoress: Sly, do the disclaimer. Please? Sly: NebThauDragmire does not own anything Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, or Legend of Zelda. Erik, Ganon, Seto: Authoress' pet!

The Journal of Remus Lupin

_Anyone who opens this journal and is not Remus Lupin shall find themselves portkey-ed to a dragon's cave._

10 March

Happy Birthday to me. Hooray. Got this journal from Dumbledore. Has a picture of the moon (sickle shaped) on the front. Damn that man and his twisted sense of humor. He said that he thought it would be nice to have a place to "write my troubles down." I'll do it only to humor him.

17 March

Success! I have brewed my own (working) Wolfsbane potion! No more owl-orders for me! Come to think of it, why do they have owl-orders for Wolfsbane potion? Ah, well, not complaining.

23 March

Damn moon.

30 March

Have found a nice place to live in a Muggle village 300 or so miles west of London. Comes with a garden and a white picket fence. Fence might have to go, but the garden I could use for growing Wolfsbane. Maybe I could stay here longer than my previous record of two months.

2 April

Went to local Muggle library. Found couple books titled "The Lord of the Rings." Checked out the whole set. Seems to be about this short guy who has to destroy this ring to save everyone. Must read more.

4 April

Have found out that the short people are called "hobbits." The prologue is incredibly boring. I'm hoping it gets better. On a side note, I found a local candy store. Bought lots of chocolate. Yum.

6 April

Have bought T.V. And DVD player. Now attempting to work said DVD player. I know how to work a T.V., but these things just are a pain. At least you don't have to program them like you VCRs. Am thankful for that. Have bought movie "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl." I hope it's good.

10 April

Lord of the Rings has gotten better. Hobbits are now heading to "Bree" to meet Gandalf. Who sounds a lot like Dumbledore. Must point this out to him. Managed to get the DVD player to work. Pirate movie was interesting. Nice to know someone else suffers under the moon besides me.

20 April

Could not put Lord of the Rings down for the past few days. Has gotten very interesting. Frodo and Co. have met Tom Bombadil, been abducted by Barrow things (cannot be bothered to look name up), been to Bree, met Strider, and are now on their way to Rivendell, the house of Elrond, who is an elf. All very exciting stuff.

14 July

Had managed to loose Journal. Found it under pile of DVDs while I was cleaning. Have amassed quite a collection. Finally finished Lord of the Rings. Library was not happy when I returned them three (or was it four?) months later. Had to buy them. Good books, so am not complaining. On a side note, have beaten previous record for time spent in one place.

20 July

Damn moon. Have bought Lord of the Rings Extended Edition. Been to sick to watch it, however. Damn.

22 July

Have watched Fellowship of the Ring. They left out Tom Bombadil and the Barrow-Things! Still was a good movie. Aragorn is O.K., but Legolas. . . we're just not going to go there. Am wondering what is with these people and eyebrows. Gandalf even looks like Dumbledore. Except Dumbledore doesn't have eyebrows like that.

25 July

Have watched Two Towers. Still don't like Legolas. The Frodo and Sam part of the quest is boring. Loved the Balrog intro. Loved the Balrog in general. Helm's Deep was, for lack of a better word, awesome. So were the Ents. And Grima Wormtoung, who reminds me of Snape. Gollum was interesting. Like the parts where he talks to himself. Am getting hungry. Must go eat my precious chocolate. Oh God, did I just write "my precious"? These movies and books are getting to me.

1 August

It was Harry's birthday yesterday. Have sent him the complete collection of The Lord of the Rings. I hope he likes it. Have also watched Return of the King. My favorite is still Two Towers. Better humor in that one.

13 August

Have decided to keep the white picket fence. Planted vines to grow around them. Received award for "Best Customer" for the candy shop for the third month in a row. Am wondering if that is a good or bad thing. Have my picture on the wall there.

22 September

Have bought computer. And printer. Have figured out how to turn it on. Will read instruction manual.

24 September

Huzzah! I have figured out how to word process! Considering transferring journal to computer. Decided against it, as I can't charm the computer.

15 October

Have dubbed computer "Trelawney" as it is irritating and impossible to figure out. Only difference is that the computer can't drink alcohol.

16 October

I stand corrected

31 October

Went to Godric's Hollow to pay my respects to Lily and James. Am now in foul mood. Charmed vines to steal candy from passing children. Am feeling a bit better.

1 November

Vines ate the candy. How they did that is beyond me. Am in fouler mood.

21 November

Damn moon. Have been in foul mood for past month. I think I am coming down with something.

1 December

Am in St. Mungo's. Have pneumonia. Hope to be out by next week.

12 December

Out of St. Mungo's. Healer told me to lay off the chocolate. Gave him a rude hand gesture when he turned his back. Went Christmas shopping. Bought Snape a pink scarf. I wonder if he'll really wear it. Sent him a singing Christmas card with it. Wish I could be there to see him open it.

25 December

Am at Hogwarts. Couldn't resist. Snape's face when he opened his gift was priceless! The singing card was better. His speech to me when the card said my name went something like this:

"**(Censor) **you Lupin! I'm going to **(Censor)**ing curse you into oblivion! Come back here you **(Censor)**ing **(Censor)**!"

He didn't manage to catch me. Or curse me. I don't think so, anyway. Didn't think he could turn that shade of red. Nice. It's a prank I think James would be proud of. Wherever he is, I hope he's laughing too. At least Harry thought it was funny.

1 January

Damn that Snape! I have grown a tail! Am back in St. Mungo's. Must get out soon so I can buy a birthday present for Snape. Am thinking a set of frilly dress robes. Or some shampoo. Can't decide.

5 January

Have bought Snape both. And another singing card. By owl order, so he can't track it to my address. Have written Dumbledore so he can send me a description.

9 January

I hereby withdraw all ill will toward Dumbledore. Bless that man, he took a picture! Have it in a picture frame on my bedside table. Nice to have something good to wake up to.

31 January

Two weeks till my birthday. Am asking Dumbledore for another Journal, this one's running out. I read back over this year. It's been fun, surprisingly. And it seemed to start with this journal. Must ask Dumbledore.


End file.
